kur0hime

After 2 years.. still with them..
i have the same feeling.. the feeling of
"kekok"-ness..haha, in English its called as awkwardness
maybe it comes from the feeling of afraid of losing someone
always be threatened by myself that I will always be rejected
this kinda of mindset causing me too afraid of trying and just follow their track
i dun hve the rite to set up mine
even i know everything is ok.. (overthinking syndrom!! )

somehow i'm thinking, i'm not good to stay in human to human relationship
coz, i think i have some kinda dark & pessismist heart to others that i try to overcome it everyday
i'm afraid i can't love them sincerely...

i used to be a lonewolf.. and after having nakama and when without their presence, sometimes
making me weak.. i'm no longer someone who can be strong on her own.. and now i'm craving for them & their attention


this demm, stupid mindset!!!

and this morning i read the status by my nakama, Alhamdulillah
to love is to give .. i'm almost forget about dat..

ppl will eventually be left alone.. and ppl around us will keep changing.. nothing is permanent aside of My Creator
we have to learn to accept & to move on.. appreciate every simple things around us
be thankful

i want to have peace & positive mind to me and to others..
and dun give up with myself and with others..

Assalamualaikum..
post ni aku nak tulis dlm BM jelah... walaupun org xkan bacenye...
sbb aku x rajin nak buat blog & aku ni kinda overthinking bnda2 pelik..so ak end up akn gunekn life jornal deviant art ni jelah utk tulis bnda2 pelik dlm pikiran aku ni ha... X3
n lps ni aku akn lebih rajin melukis & improve art aku & jd lebih popular...hahahaha

kali ni aku nak tulis bnda2 yg aku rasa nak tulis...da lame tersimpan da..so tulis jelah yep...

aku tgh blh buat logbook makmal, blh lak lari jap buat livejournal nih..hahaha.. aku mmg mcm ni.. buat sesuatu tetibe je.. kinda unpredictable

PERSONALITI

orait, dari segi personaliti aku nih, aku ni masih lg sorg yg x stabil, mencari2 identiti diri, & cuba memperbaiki diri..
aku masih lg x leh nk express the real me kat luar sne.. haha, sume org cmni kot
ak blh dikatekn sorg yg nmpk skema di luar, tp dlmn ak..hahahahahaha ~>@<~
kwn bek ak ckp aku "nakal" kat dlm... aha... mmg btol pun...  nakal aku pelik2 smcm sbnrnye..well, abaikan bnda tu..
aku kinda anti-social & introvert, aku bkn jenis suke bersembang tetbe je.. even dgn kwn bek aku pun aku xlah slalu bersembang..i'm not an initiator, tp once da start bru aku jadi sengal...haha..

aku mmg x byk cakap, sbb x tau nk ckp pe & rasa bnda tu tak perlu kowt, nk buat mesra2 kat org (esp utk laki2)... kdg2 down gak tgk org2 len blh hoo haa..aku rasa left out from the group.. tp skrg aku da blaja utk tak kisah bnda tu sume.. as long as ko tak buat masalah kat org lain, u are fine.. yep dr psikologis aku ckp cmtu.. ak slalu wat muke blur,clueless..even org nk sakat aku pun aku mcm xde perasaan nk respon...

aku slalu relatekn diri aku dgn watak anime.. bajet aku sorg yg dark (hahaha).. aku admit aku sorg yg gloomy.. tp aku sorg yg cheerful sbnrnye..dgn org2 yg rapat dgn aku...nway aku kene blaja utk jd x gloomy sgt.. & baik dgn sume org... =3

aku pesismis sket dlm hubungn dgn org..slalu rasa org x suke aku..hahaha..mind set je tu sume.. cume skrg ni aku cuba untuk lihat satu perkara from brighter view... psl LOVE plk...hahaha, xpelh aku pike pakwe2 anime aku jelh buat masa ni... hehe

bnda yg pling aku x suke dgn diri aku, PROCRASTINATION!!! teruk sgt..haihh

aku hrp aku dpt improve diri aku, jadi org yg sistematik, lbh bijak urus diri, masa,keje, org.. inshaAllah jadi sorg Muslim dan anak yg lbh baik..

MY SELF-CONFIDENCCE IS DROPPING LATELLYY~

YADAAA~~!!!

SEMANGAT~!! PLEASE COME BACK..TTwTT

Assalamualaikum..^^
nothin to say much..(coz i'm not so into writing)
just wanna share what i'd been through for a week of internship
Demostration of DNA extraction, Agarose Gel Electrophoresis, Tetrazolium microplate assay (TEMA)..
huhu, still demostration about my project is not yet be shown..still wait for the akak a.k.a Madam Research Assistant to show me how to start cell culture..
yep, i'm having cytotoxicity project..regarding nanoparticle as the carrier of drug, and check the toxicity of the nanoparticle & drugs toward cells... i've zero experience about cell culture..really anticipating to see the demo before i perform the projects by myself..
so for now, reading and reading, making notes.. BP...nerd mode on...haha (yelah tu..)

Assalam...
It has been long time since the last submission..(well, ad org nak kisah ke? XD)
Having my internship soon, wondering if i have time to draw..huhu

I really want to create a story, but currently dun have any idea or storyline spinning in my head..
wondering if i can have some idea when doing my PCR..
PCR stands for polymerase chain reaction..hahahaha (nerd =.